So driving with my new husband to our camping spot, I decided that after marriage was the perfect time to start a fight. You know, just mentioning all of the things I will never ever take from Omani culture. Yeah... I know, do this BEFORE marriage. But I decided, do it while he is insanely in love with me, and yet, can't back out. Not fair, but very, very smart.
"I am not going to stop wearing colour because colour is halal in Islam, amd actually of the sunnah, not always black black black, and if you try to tell me again I have to stay in the car at the gas station unless I want to completely cover my face I am going to divorce you."
I would divorce over a lipstick. He knows this. He was forewarned that I am the most stubborn woman that he is likely ever to meet. Boxie, can confirm this fact. I am also VERY-much into Islam and the subject of hijab, and well read on it, so he can't tell me something is tabaruuj (showing off to catch men's attention with one's wealth or sexuality). Omanis (most Muslims actually) have the mistaken idea that being different or the slightest bit pretty is tabarrujj. It is not. Tabarujj is flaunting wealth, social status, or in a woman's case, sexual beauty. Not the beauty of her clothes, provided they don't make a vain show of wealth. That is rooted in evidence from Quran and hadith.
H2B [now to be known as H], while knowing I have a thing for black abayas, AND covering my face ANYWAYS, still was irrationally afraid for some reason that I'd start wearing a hot pink abaya or something in his conservative village and was actually getting annoyed with me. I let him be because I think such engagements are amusing and keep me in practice for when I actually need to use my debating skills.
H: [in a huff to OPNO] "Your head and heart is a stone."
OPNO: [not the least bit phased] "Yep, am not a clay Omani girl you can mould into whatever you want. And another thing, I am still going to wear red lipstick. Divorce me if you want. But before you talk about what is halal or not for a woman to wear in Islam..."
[Now Omani girls, please keep the following line in mind for any arguements about clothes and makeup from your-acting-all-cultural husbands]
"...why don't you grow a beard first? Huh? Focuss on correcting your own faults and bad hijab before worrying about mine."
I won. And ladies, I usually do.
Driving some more, the issue of my love of observance of certain sports came up in the form of a question from a jealous H.
H: "So.... OPNO, what do you think of watching sports like football where men wear shorts that are too short?"
OPNO: [aware this is a trap set for her] "I think it is fine for a woman. Sports like HANDBALL, and FOOTBALL are aaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyb [shame] on the Muslim men who don't cover to their knees [Muslim men are supposed to cover all the way to their knees at all times] but no shame on a woman who keep her eye on the ball instead of staring at their shorts trying to ctach of glance of the other kind of balls."
H: [bites his lip] "So you think it is haraam for men to wear shorts but okay for women to watch men playing sports in such shorts. I don't watch women's volleyball."
OPNO: "But you watch movies don't you? You see women's boobs and uncovered heads anyway. I'd rather you watch volleyball or tennis than an add on a billboard. I am going to keep attending sporting events. Don't be jealous of the teams. I promise I am not checking them out and if I happen to be overtly attracted to a thigh or anything higher, I will lower my eyes."
H: [in a huff] "I am going to start watching women's volleyball."
OPNO: [smiling at him] "I like volleyball. We can watch it together."
Ladies, never give in on what makes you who you are unless you think that thing is actually wrong. If it IS wrong, then do make the concession, but otherwise, do not give in and up, especially early on in a marriage. Or you'll be regretting it shortly after, and you'll resent the men who made you change something about yourself that you did not think was wrong.
But DO make an allowance, while discussing, that he could be right, before you put your foot down;). Sometimes, while rarely, he is.