A crafty day!

One of my clients had a 'crafty day'. All those beautiful items add so much more to a couples wedding.
They shared the photos with me and I could not wait to share them with you.  I really look forward to their wedding!

 Now they just need to be sewn together and a wine bottled inserted - perfect table no.

Fabulous job!

OPNO wants to... slap somebody at the office

Everyone in Oman that I know seems to have a maid except for me. I could have one. I can afford it. But I don't really need it, so I just go, 'nah'.

But what I really need to do right now is go slap some guy.

K, first off. Dear blog audience, let me tell you 2 stories, and YOU TELL ME, when is it okay to slap somebody.

Story #1

There is a pretty young American girl working for my company. She's the one who makes minutes for the meetings, distributes the faxes to the right people, edits company documents. Outside of her working time, she met an Omani guy for coffee. Whether or not one can judge this Omani guy's intentions [I usually go for the worst 1 year into the country now], she likes him, and they go on dates. This does not interfere with her work at all, and actually, no one can prove anything at all that they've kissed or slept with eachother ect, only that they had coffee once. He is not a co-worker, she's always been the MOST AMAZING person in the job that we've ever had. Also, she is also that one at your company, that if any of the women working there had something bad happen in their personal lives, that they go to. Say their husband was divorcing them, or their dog or cat got run over, she was always the one who'd make extra time to console and offer advice so the others in the office could get back to business as usual.

But what do these co-workers, her office family do, when one day, her boss comes up to her and slaps her hard across the face, leaving his handprint there, do?

They laughed. They actually laughed.

They laughed because the boss said to her after he slapped her, in reference to the Omani guy she had coffee with because she was lonely and far from her friends and family, "You came here to work, not make a slutt of yourself. Your behaviour damages the company reputation."
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End of story number one: PLEASE NOTE, STORY #1 is just to make the GCC ARAB audience THINK of maids differently, as people.

Now my question, being that girl's behavior did not hinder her job, and thus, should not leave her accountable for the company itself, can I slap the crap out of that guy?

Can you say, that a company has the right to control what she does outside of her working hours providing it is not breaking the laws of Oman even if she might be hurting herself and doesn't know it?

If you are one of those who said, slap the crap out of the dude, and, of course not OPNO, let me tell you story number #2, story like it really happened:

There is a decent looking young Philipino girl working for a maid agency. She's the one who runs after the children, changes their diapers, cleans up after the entire family, cooks everyone food, and still has the patience for kisses and hugs during tempertantrums. She is also the one that female family members go to for some kind words to cheer them up when something bad happens in their lives. Outside of her working time, she met an Omani guy for coffee. Whether or not one can judge this Omani guy's intentions [I usually go for the worst 1 year into the country now---and if I was her family, I'd go slap the Omani guy or demand he offer to marry my maid if he wants to court her since this is actually a requirement of HIS religion], she liked him, and they met twice. This does not interfere with her work at all, and actually, no one can prove anything at all, that they've kissed or slept with eachother ect, only that they had coffee twice with lots of folks around. Unlike some other *BAD* maids I've known, the Omani guy is *NOT* the husband of the Omani woman she works for. She isn't hitting on family members. She is lonely, had a horribly hard life, and hopes that some decent, kind, well-off stranger may marry her and save her children back in Philipines from a life of poverty. Which is similar to what *ALOT* of Omani women I am friends with dream of too BTW. She isn't doing anything that deserves a whipping in Islam such as fornicating (you need a witness to that) but nonetheless, she is returned by her "family" to the maid agency. But a "family" member half-laughs when they hear that...

The boss at the maid agency slaps the poor miskeen girl hard across the face, saying, "You came here to work, not to make a slutt of yourself. Your behvaiour damages the company reputation."

END OF STORY #2.
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CAN I SLAP THIS GUY?

Can SOMEBODY!

Because somebody should. Slapping a woman is like, the lowest of the low, unless of course, it is me, OPNO, slapping you dude first and for no valid reason, then, btw, hit me back, I am up for it.

But I doubt she insulted you crimey maid service operator. She never hurt you at all, or even her family. The only one she COULD HURT was herself in this case.

I wanna slap him sooooooooo bad. Just cuz you own a visa doesn't mean you own a PERSON. They have hours and beyond those working hours, and WITHIN the laws of the country, their lives are-and SHOULD BE-their own.

The girl deserves to find her Prince Charming, albeit, I TOTALLY don't think the coffee Omani dude was that, more like your run-of-the-mill wolf in sheep's clothing, but I mean, every girl deserves that.

And before you accuse people of bad things, think about it. If this girl WAS a Muslim woman, yeah, she shouldn't be dating. But does she REALLY have a family to match-make for her back in her home country???? {the maid in this story I knew personally, her intentions would ONLY BE honorable, even if she trusted the wrong man, as women are wont to}

And if she was NOT muslim, is it any way YOUR right to blame her for ANOTHER Muslim's (the guy she went on the date with) behaviour?

Actually, I know alot of maids in Oman, that married good, decent, previously unmarried husbands. If you are a Muslim family, SHAME<> on YOU for NOT WANTING THAT FOR YOUR MAID.

So I soooooooooo totally want to slap the guy that slapped the maid at the agency.

But I know, he'd probably get me arrested if I slapped him.

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You mean, OPNO, the ROP TOTALLY CONDONE phsical abuse of women?

Well, in the cases of maids and some other imported workers, dear readers, I will tell you how Omani minds work on the issue, and dearest, beloved Omanis, who I esteem and love for all the good of you, and wish to change all that is wrong with you, do not take offense.

To Omanis, the maid, regardless of her religion, is usually seen to be a member of the household.

That means, that while she is most often not TREATED as a female family member, she is expected to behave like a female family member.

If a female family member went out on a coffee-date with an Omani guy, her brother might slap her.

This, to the ROP, is a "it's for the family to fix it" kind of thing. Most Omanis get it, even I do. I don't think it's right, I mean, go slap the dude she was with too, if you wanna be fair and just ect... but if the Omani female family member was lonely, and wanted to find her Prince Charming, her Omani family would help her find someone good ideally, someone who would not take advantage of her.

This "family member" per se maid is not treated as a family member in the same regard. She is often not regarded AT ALL socially, so her lonliness, and often the poverty-stricken circumstances of her life, are even worse, and yet no one worries for her finding something better in life. She is treated thus, as an object on loan from the maid agency, not truly a family member.

So I don't believe "family" justice should apply to maids in Oman AT ALL.

I should TOTALLY be able to SLAP that dude that slapped the poor maid.

What would I have done? I would have taken the girl aside and warned her about men that use women, and then I'd endeavour to see if the Omani coffee date was serrious or not, and if not, I'd help her to find a real, decent man who could help make her life better.

But then, I treat maids as people in the first place.

Understanding Islam Today: Traditionalists, Reformers, and Revivalists

This post came about from an argument between MOP & his wife, an OPNO, about women praying in the Mosque with no barrier or wall between the women and the men of the Mosque. As an expat, you'd find a men-only Mosque totally sexist. I assure you most adamantly, I do too, and find this story most amusing, and to the point about the state of discussion that intellectually we are in today, regarding the religion of Islam, whether one is Muslim or not. If you are an Omani, you may be on either side of the fence with this one, or trapped, like MOP is, in the middle, behind the barrier, and for knocking it down.

So unto the tale:

Being that we were all about on a road trip, we were unable to pray in our individual houses, which is what is BEST/EASIEST/NOT A SIN for women (not men who are not travelling---for men who are not travelling it is a SIN/NO REWARD not to pray in the Mosque). Muslims get this belief that prayer is allowed/better for women in their individual houses, because the Prophet Mohamed, peace and blessings be upon him, told Umm Humayd Al-Sa`idiyyah "A woman's prayer in her house is better than in her courtyard, and her prayer in her own room is better than in the rest of the house." (Chain of narration recorded by Abu Dawud).

MOP's wife reasoned that this is because she can concentrate better on her personal connection with her Creator in her own home and she is physically very safe there. And that women being allowed to pray at home and not having to go to the Mosque as something that is compulsory for them, was a gift from their Creator, making their faith easier to maintain in the days when there was no brith control [for example, women & men were discouraged from bringing children to the Mosques that would interupt or hinder the worship and spiritual/intellectual development of others'] . MOP's reasoning was that it hard for men to have that same connection to their Creator when a distracting woman is in the Mosque with them, and that if something is not done in the culture, it is merely best to avoid things that are sinful, and that it is not sinful for a woman to offer her prayers in a place that is not a Mosque.

You see, dear readers, this whole argument came out from the fact that when we had stopped on our journey, we did indeed find a Mosque, but we could not find one that had an area purposely for women. Mosques in Oman usually have an entirely closed off seperate area for women to pray in. This Mosque it seems, at least in terms of the culture, been built soley for the use of men.

Now had there been such an area for women, I doubt MOP's wife would have argued very much. There are many advantages to a closed-off women's only area, such as being able to adjust and re-adjust one's clothing, and them not having to worry as much about the Islamic requirements for their clothing, or even breastfeeding babies (not something you do while YOU pray, but something that can be done in an women-only side of a Mosque, and not something SO easily done when prayers are preformed by both the sexes together, and that, when a Mosque is mixed in terms of sexes, the Mosque purely becomes a learning and religious center for women, not a social one, whereas informal socialising may take place easily on a women's only area of a Mosque.

The important factor in the tale I am about to relate, is that in this case, there WAS no seperate women's area, but there was indeed a Mosque. And, in Omani culture, this Mosque was used only by men.

As MOP's OPNO would argue, a Mosque is built for Islamic culture, not any nationalistic culture, and the rules of the Mosque are the rules of the religion, not those of the place where a Mosque happens to be built.

Since there WAS a Mosque, albeit, lacking a seperate woman's prayer area, my dear friend and I had concluded that we would pray in the Mosque, rather than outside the Mosque.

MOP wanted us to pray outside.He was more than willing to pray with us there.

To sway his mind I said the following, quoting a saying of the Prophet Mohamed , peace and blessings be upon him: ""The Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, “If people knew the reward in praying Fajr and Isha together in the Mosque, they would go to the mosque even if they had to crawl.” And the chain of narration is recorded by Bukhari & Muslim. And the Prophet didn't just say 'if men knew, he said 'if people knew' meaning women too."

So MOP related the hadith/saying about women's prayer being best in their homes. To which is my friend intelligently replied: "Habibi, we are far from our houses. But we do have a Mosque. The hadith does not say, 'it is better for women to pray in the courtyard of the Mosque than in the Mosque'. In fact, Allah [God] made it perfectly clear that women are to attend the Mosques in that the Prophet Mohamed told the men "Do not prevent the female servants of Allah from entering the House of Allah [i.e the Mosque]" and from many sayings of the Prophet and historical records, we KNOW that women among the BEST generation of Muslims prayed in the same room with the men, no barrier between them, albeit, in very modest dress void of perfumes, and in the back rows so that guys couldn't check out their butts." She was smirking.

MOP of course, knew it was perfectly halal for women to pray in the Mosque, and that we were all Muslim women dressed in a manner to attend any public event in the presence of men but he reasoned that since it was something regarded as outside the culture, it was ALSO perfectly acceptable to render prayers OUTSIDE the Mosque, and less trouble to do so.

WHYYYYY were there seperate prayer areas for women in Oman? both my friend AND I enquired of poor MOP.

MOP said, because it was hard for men to concentrate on their prayers with women in the room.

Why was this, all OPNO girls wanted to know (even the non-Muslim one) when the men among the earliest Muslims managed to, without treating the women like meat?

"Because it is a corrupt time for Muslims" MOP helplessly cited, which brought about the true reason for this post.

"More sin now than before?" my lips curled into a sneer at that line of reasoning. MOP's wife and I are of western education, and both spent time as Muslims in the West. This line of reasoning annoys the heck out of us, because all [well, in Islamic scholarship anyways] Muslims believe that Islam as evidenced in the Qu'ran and practiced/explained by the Prophet Mohamed was the perfect example for all Muslims, for all times.

My girl, picked up from there, as it WAS HER husband afterall. "So you would reason, that we should leave off what was done by the Prophet, because what he left us with isn't good enough? That Islam should be CHANGED to meet these corrupt times?"

Of course, that is not what any decent Muslim Omani man could mean, but that is where his kind of reasoning leads. It leads to Muslims in the West who openly reject the things in their religion that don't so easily fit into their modern lives, like the jilbab and khimar, which takes the form of the black abaya and headscarf, that few Omani men like MOP would want their sisters and mothers and wives to reject. Yet in the West, my friend and I have seen it. Women say, it may be in the Qu'ran as a command, but it doesn't pertain to today. Well, there was no requirement of men and women praying seperate BEFORE but there is today. Same reasoning, opposite lines of the spectrum.

"What harm can come from you praying outside the Mosque?" MOP asked his wife as she shouldered her way past him up the steps of the Mosque as if she couldn't hear his question.

On our way there, an Omani boy, ten years younger than myself, tried to stop us, saying there was no women's Mosque. He did not know, that is was allowed for Muslim women to pray in a Mosque, so long as they did not wear perfume, and did all their Islamic requirements in way of public dress, and did not use the Mosque for purposes other than prayer and reducation from Islamic lectures. He did not know, clearly, that it is a SIN for a man to forbid a woman from attending the Mosque.

MOP prayed in front of us, we prayed in the back, and another Muslim man, who knew enough of Islam to calm the Omani boy down about us women being there, prayed on the opposite end of the Mosque from out party respectfully a small ways in front, as men are to do in the religion.

When we left the Mosque, OPNO belonging to MOP and he to her respectively, answered his question.

"The harm does not come from praying in the Mosque or outside it, but it lies in your reasoning, and what that reasoning allows us to forget. That boy no more knew what was allowed, than he knows why it is not allowed. Your reason, that it makes men uncomfortable, is not a reason in Islam, as Islam allows women to go where it is necessary and even pleasing and certainly beneficial for them to go. The women of Sahaba [the first Muslims] interacted with men in Islamic capacities where it was halal [not sinful] and beneficial for society for them to, in education, business, and religion. The danger, and it IS evidenced IN OMAN for our Western/Convert eyes to see--- by the way, is that when you seperate us from the Mosque, men stop seeing us equals in the religion, and more as meat. You see us as mothers maybe, and wives, at best, and at worst... If men cannot behave as the Prophet himself behaved at the Mosque, than they have no means of being there either."

MOP regarded her desperate plea, and assured us he was on the same side, and wanted very much for these things to be changed, but didn't want his wife to be the one to do it, in the manner that she did.

But then who is to to do it? We asked? Who is to change it? We all agreed, seperate areas for women had their benefits, and women enjoyed them, but that some women suffered from their inability to approach Imam's weekly or daily with questions, or to recieve the same education and information Muslim men recieve from attending the Mosque regularily.

MOP even admitted to us, that in his village in Oman, women do not come to the Eid prayers, when praying the Eid prayer in congregation is CUMPULSORY on muslim men AND WOMEN, even women who have their periods, ect...

That is the danger of reforming/pseudo reviving of Islam. You lose the right legality, and the true message of it, whether the reform is in a liberal or a conservative direction.

Which brings me to:

Today, there are, intellectually, 3 different ways of studying Islam, no matter the sect or manner of jurisprudence within those sects.

Now I am stealing these definitions, credit to sister Nida, from her blog http://theidealmuslimah.blogspot.com/2010/12/revivalists-vs-reformers.html, and she's stealing it from Abdelwahab El-Affendi ;):

TRADITIONALISTS
Definition: Those following traditionally approved approaches and methods of interpretation, and basically handing down what has come from before in the same manner as before. These do not wish to update Islam, and seek to do what has always been done ie come to the same conclusion. *many intellectually documented ways of studying & viewing Islam are reform or revival based Islam passed down in the manner of traditionalists but those same types of intellectual Islam would not necessarily BE traditionalist in nature*

REVIVALISTS
Definition: Revivalists distinguish themselves from traditionalists by redefining the tradition into purist terms, while the former tend to accept the traditionl more or less in the context as it was handed down. The purpose of doing so it to impose an idealizized idea of Islam, with a tendancy to instrumentalize religion and to define their movement sociologically, rather than theologically. This can be done in either a very conservative or very liberal manner.

Mr. Abdelwahab El-Affendi's conclusion of this movement in terms of discussing Islam, the same as, and so much more eloquently expressed than my own: "Their version of instrumentalized Islam is spiritually, artistically, and humanly impoverished and narrowly partisan.”

REFORMERS
Definition: Reformers differentiate themselves from Revivalists by interrogating the tradition in more radical ways. Seeking to exploit the differences and conflicts within orthodoxy to eliminate or discredit those aspects of the tradition that have become difficult to defend in the modern era, selectively picking and choosing from various accepted authorities to support their modernizing (usually liberal, but not always) agenda.

This approach seeks to work within the confines of orthodoxy while working hard to redefine it. It attempts to develop a radical rereading and reinterpretation of traditional Islamic sources by adapting traditionally approved approaches and methods of interpretation.

Ultra-radical reformers launch a frontal attack on traditionalism, sometimes advocating treatment of the Qur’an as a “human” text and using the tools of modern literary criticism to decipher it.

Mr. Abdelwahab El-Affendi observes that "such a deliberate drive for a reformation... is based on copying another (Christian) experience in another religious tradition in another era is condemned from the start to the loss of innocence: it is no longer religious reform but social engineering and intellectual tinkering.”

Mr. Abdelwahab El-Affendi wrote, that while reform of Islam is much applauded from non-muslims in the West, that they should be cautious in this as well: “The efforts of U.S.-based Muslim intellectuals to undermine Islamic authoritarianism could warrant an “even more ambitious agenda following up on changes in Islam’s ideology with changes in leadership and religious practices.” Much justifies these ambitions, but ambition must not be allowed to shift to illusion. To move from a valid appreciation of the increasing importance of the intellectual contributions of Western Muslims to a “wag the dog” theory that ascribes to them a leadership role in religious reform may be as misguided (and as dangerous) an illusion as the idea that creating an American colony in Iraq would be an advertisement of America’s love for democracy and an inspiration for freedom lovers throughout the Muslim world. Both illusions spring from the same quintessentially Western overconfidence, even arrogance, of which Muslim Westerners are not immune.”

I wholly agree, as a Muslim who lived in the west, letting the likes of Tariq Fatah and Irshadd Manji speak for me, and represent Islam, is misguided. Though one MIGHT say, the same reform movements exist in Egypt, ect.... to quote Nida who'd say it like I would but better;): "What defines 'progressive' islam is a distinct Western liberal ideology, so anyone ascribing to this ideology, be they American or Egyptian or whatever, is elevating Western ideology above tradition (a universal set of moral and ethical values). I believe the reason why the progressive ideology is popular in places like Egypt is due to the deep rooted colonial and neo-colonial legacy. It is mostly people who have been 'exiled' from their countries and had a 'Western/European' intellectual upbringing who are the leaders of this particular movement."

But that does not mean, living here now in Oman, that I am free from the influence and power of such misguided reform movements. As this entire post has been an example of, the same line of reformist thinking exists heavily in even Arab culture.

as Nida pointed out, what some call 'revivalism' is in fact reform: "changing the religious interpretations to an idealized modern vision of what they believe Islam looked like at the time of the prophet (peace be upon him)", regardless of whether or not that vision is based on the classical interpretations of Islam. "As per the mosque example, according to the classical texts women used to pray directly behind men, and now they are being boxed away into small corners of the mosque and encouraged to pray at home. The argument that is being used to justify this practice in some mosques is that "today there is more fitnah/sin"; therefore implying that we have to re-interpret Islam for modern, albeit corrupt, historical time period."

People have to be aware of where their ideologic reasoning leads them, same as when one studies socialism/fascism, two spectrum of the same reasoning spectrum.

I myself, do not support a reformation of Islam but a reformation of self, and the only revival I engender, is one of knowledge and awareness.

Fresh off the Tarmac: My boss and His Camel

My boss had to go the USA for a medical conerference a little while ago and an American person came up to him, amazed that he knew how to use a computer, and that we had the latest in lap tops over here.

My boss, in the Omani humour I have found most typical to the Al Batinah region the covers Muscat, played it off, quite amused:

"Yes, we have all the latest kinds of laptops, and they are the most convenient. Before, it was very, very hard to carry a PC about on your camel, but with the laptop, it fit right into my camel's saddlebag, and she doesn't find it that heavy at all."

The American person, dazed, and amazed, blinked credulously at my boss.

He held the last sentiment expressed for a moment and then laughed. "But you didn't really believe that did you?"

All had a good laugh.

Don't believe everything you hear my dear expats, especially tales involving camels:

My boss has never ridden one. Most Omanis and GCC Arabs I know, neither have they. My boss drives a high-end luxury car. I have ridden a camel, but then, only expats tend to spend 150 rials to drive into the desert and ride a camel around a bit;)

Daily Diary: AN accidental evening at the Seeb Exhibition Center

Last night I was #400 plus something at the ROP registration office in Ghala/seeb-ish area that I can't describe any better.

So, I went to the Seeb exhibition center. It was promoting everything his Majesty had accomplished for Omanis.

The place was "almost" empty of Omanis [no shopping I teased MOP] except the ones manning the exhibition and those whose works made an effort to frequent the stalls pertaining to them.

"Why would this interest us a great deal?" MOP remarks. "This is nothing new for Omanis. EVERYDAY our government is telling us what it does for us."

Which, I suppose, I would know, if my Arabic were better. Alas, there was also a lack of expats due to most of the exhibits signage being arabic-only.

My favourite booths: Oman Women's Association because they gave us helwa and qhawa and had traditional Omani dresses on display. Oman Air, because they had free candies. Oman education ministry (also free candies). Oman Agriculture ministry also had an awesome greenhouse model FILLED with huge strawberries, that were they to be to scale, would be the size of bicycles. This amused me greatly.

So did the chap from the Minstry of Housing who told me expats can buy and own land anywhere in Oman that Omanis can. Which is wrong information, but then, they wouldn't send the expat guy, since the signs and info pamphlets were all in Arabic too.

The exhibition also had the world's longest card (made for Omani women's day) on display. The pic from above was taken for that event to commemorate Omani Women's Day. MOP encouraged Princess to sign it but she didn't want to since she isn't REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLY Omani.

WHAT WAS INTERESTING THOUGH (And she spoke english) was the plans for making a garden/conservatory/ plant natural biodiversity and heritage village in Al Khoud to showcase all Omani plant environments and their growths, and to preserve the traditional uses for plants and the knowledge thereof. Interesting to me.

Well, it was still, like 200 people in front of me still to go at the registration office, to I went to Mutrah and bought 40 (yes, you heard that right) samboosas for 1 rial. I ate 20 and was so stuffed with greasy yumminess that a walk on the Corniche was required to cure the guilt.

Returned to registration with the Shorta, only 50 people in front of me to go. Allllllllllllright!

Fabric Source: for Omani Traditional Dress

I have FINALLY FOUND plain cotton and linen fabrics. Yay!

Also, homespun, and rough dupoine silk.

[In Oman they really, really love florals and leopard prints, and colourful splotches].

Where?

On the other side from Saabco in Al Qurum, not the Al Araimi mall, but down, past the Omani Craft's house [I want to buy a model Dhow for my father and a rifle belt for my husband], and the bookstore (I WANT the book on traditional Omani folktales and the one on regional silvercrafts] is another mall, whose name eludes me, on the floor up the escalators from the jewelry store [with the giant gold horse and eagle scultures] wherein said fabrics are.

Tailors in Mutrah and Barka, here I come, armed with my latest designs for Omani daywear:)

And wouldn't the dresses look so cute embellished with textiles from the Oman Craft whatever it's real name is store? :)

BTW, the prices in this store ARE actually VERY decent for Oman, because the craftsman are supported by the government, and sometimes the bookstore has a featured book where a portion of the profits go to Dar Al Atta (the charity) soooooo, if supporting local artisans (and getting genuine Omani not foreigner labour) and helping charities a little is for you, this area in Oman is ACTUALLY an OPNO shopping pic. Especially for souvenirs of visitors and friends who CANNOT for the LIFE OF THEM BARTER and reading anything about Oman.

Cultural Observances: from the inside of Omani daily life

I remember my Omani homegirl R saying, and I quote: "You'd love Omani culture less if you were actually Omani."

And classic KH: "Trade passports? You love my country, take it. I want out."

It has always GREATLY amused my Omani friends that I love things from Omani culture that they are slowly rejecting, such as regional dress, certain handicrafts, Omani history, Omani stories, ect... and I had always thought it was very foolish of friends like R & KH to reject their culture for my highly commercialized, melting pot one. Well, not mine familially (as I have a very colourful family who have never quite been amalgomated into their society), but mine nationally anyways, just to add for clarification.

But now, from within the culture, I begin to understand why R favours jeans over sirwaal, and rejects niqab [the face veil], and why KH is so disatisfied with his role in society and longs for the advantages of freedom depite having to do barely nothing to subsist in Omani culture.

From within the culture, that I still love, I know all the things of the culture, good and bad, that cannot be so easily rejected and set aside. KH & R cannot do anything other than what is the norm in their famillies. They wear Western clothes, eat Western food, don't know alot about Oman, and the good things about it, and I hate this.

But I begin to understand the act of rejection as a means to protest the things that they wish they were able to reject.

Dhofari girls that happen to write about rejecting the niqab (face veil) don't really reject the niqab as the Islamic message it represents. They represent their lack of choice with the niqab of the symbol of their ignorant or uneducated relatives. This confuses expats, causes controversy in the Muslim Ummah, but at least, now I get it.

KH wishes to abstain from the wasta system. He longs for an Islamic (not Omani) marriage.

R also longs for an Islamic marriage. She longs for the time when an Omani woman doing something not sinful and even good for herself even if it goes contrary to the norm in the family will not be considered a crime in the society worse than adultery and murder. R admits if she murdered someone, her family would probably forgive her and support her, but if she chose to marry someone of the wrong tribe name, she'd be out in the cold and called "siflah" an arabic swearword similiar to "b*&^" but meaning "one who has gone out". The same thing would happen to her is she supported another family member doing the same.

Now that I am within the bounds of Omani society, and fall subject to the laws and traditions of MOP's tribe (apparently, if I drive a Mustang, I'll be a "bad girl" lol :XD same goes for a sporty jeep or wearing a colourful headscarf in certain village places) I find my powers to reject things to be limited in some cases (not by MOP himself) so I fight for things that are NOT important.

I never really desired to wear open style abayas at all. Not really my fave style. But I found myself fighting for the right to wear them even though it was not important to me.

Or hearing an ignorant Omani saying "9/11 was the Jews, and I hate America" and only able to give "Palestine" as a reason for that when I ask them why.

Not aware, apparently, that the Turkish Caliphate allying itself with Hitler not being half the reason, or that the Cheks armed Israel in its early days, not the USA, ect, ect, ect.

Read Bernard's "The Crisis of Islam" to understand better. Decent book, though he misuses the term "Wahabi" quite extensively. He means "Saudi jurisprudence" not exactly "Wahabi". Anyways.

I have realized, that fighting for things that are not important to me is hypocritical. Just as hypocritical as my friends, who I had judged as foolish for rejecting the worthy things in their culture and societies, who do not rebell against the true causes of their discontent state in life.

So while I will continue to fight, embracing everything in Omani culture that is not unislamic, I will not fight just to prove I have fight in me. No success or change or even satisfaction can come from that, just exhaustion.